One of the most difficult tasks of life is intimacy. Learning to be good at a job or to be social with friends cannot compare to the challenge of learning to love and be loved. We feel loved when we are seen, accepted, deeply perceived and responded to by another human being. True intimacy requires a unique vulnerability in which we reveal ourselves to another. Feeling safe is critical to genuine intimacy. Criticism of your partner can lead to contempt and disengagement. This may often be expressed as a “lack of communication,” but the problem is often deeper.

Real change occurs when we change ourselves, not try to change our partner. A marital therapy which incorporates differentiation of Self –when both partners are working on Self within the relationship—can create change quickly and naturally.

The solution is to grow. Life Work counselors are trained in marital strategies and techniques which effectively examine and transform the needs of the couple as an expression of hope, not surrender. The dividend is conscious engaged connection and compassionate loving.

Ask yourself these important questions:

• What fears and rationalizations do I use to hold myself back from my partner?
• What is the cost to my happiness, my family and the relationship of holding back?
• What might be possible in my life if I were to genuinely work on the relationship?
• What myths and beliefs do I hold about relationship that keep me frustrated from moving closer to my partner?
• What are my contributions toward the conflict in my relationship?

Life Work Counselors will assess and identify the core conflict issues of the negative interaction cycle in the relationship. Solutions that reframe problems in terms of feelings, needs and negative cycles will facilitate new behaviors and build on connecting with greater strength and understanding of the individual.

Bringing Respect Back  - Couples Workshop coming in 2012!