Honoring the “Do” in “I Do”
Lately, in my work with couples, I’ve come to notice that one of the biggest issues my clients are facing is that they no longer do things together or for each other. They’ve come to the point that happens after many years of being together and raising a family that the focus gets shifted anywhere but on the relationship. We spend so much of our time on our careers, and our children that our relationship tends to come in close to last.
In order for us to have a healthy relationship we need to tend to it.
99 Percent of the couples we see come in saying that we need to “talk” more, to “communicate” better. Honestly, what they need to do is stop talking and start doing!
Our words become meaningless if there is no action to back them up. You can tell your spouse “I love you” a million times but if you don’t show them how you love them they wont know. Healthy relationships aren’t built on just words, they are built on life experiences; what we do together, what we do for each other, and for ourselves. Start doing things again!
10 easy ways to reconnect throughout your week:
- Send a quick text message telling your partner that your are thinking about them and that you love them. “Hey hun, hope your day is going well. Love you!” It goes a long way.
- Kiss your partner before leaving every morning and greet your partner when they come home.
- Eat at least 1 meal a day together sitting down with no TV on. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I’m a huge proponent of family meals. Use this time to reconnect. Ask each other questions. Be silly.
- Make each other feel special. Look back to when you were dating each other, what did you do? Start incorporating those activities back into your relationship.
- Sleep in the same bed. No excuses!
- Give your partner an unexpected gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
- Make time for sex.
- Kiss and hug often
- Exercise together. An evening walk, a jog, a bike ride
- Take a class or join a local amateur sports league together.